physical vs mental = give up

i cant believe it.
this is the first time in my whole life
i actually give up a race
even when i see the finishing line right smack infront of me.

everybody was like "GG TO REACH ALR!"
and i was thinking, "hello, where the heck is the tent?"

i dont know why,
i just decided to walk towards the finishing line.
i was pretty sure i walked about freaking 200m.
walk, jog, walk jog, walk jog.
i know my ankle and back were giving way,
didnt want to give up.
but still, i dont know why
my mentality decided to change at the very last minute.
whats happening to me?

sha sissy was commenting,
"maybe you didnt want to win".
maybe at that moment,
i just decided to give up.
i also dont know why.

hmmm.
ok.
time for reflection.

lactic
mentally exshauted
ankle's giving way
back starting to hurt
expectations unmet.

i hate this ankle of mine.

i must really thank that guy who
ran and encouraged me along the way.
but i really forgot how he looked like :(
and thanks to the person who
gave me the powerbar
tho i dont know who you were.
thanks!:)

anyway, well done yingjing, jocelyn and trackers.
good race.
:)

ok.
its over.

lunched with bobo, keewei and rainfull.
yoshi.

went to sean's house to do GP presentation.
i love his sausage dog!
except for the fishy breath.
TIMMY.
MAX is too big for me.
scary.
and stop making him bark!
it took us so long to complete 8 slides?
my goshhh.
anyway, thanks for the ice cream!:)

i haven been doing anything for the whole day
except to stone.

special thanks to everybody who messaged me this morning
and even after the event!:)

habitat

once again,
we're stunt mullets and evil beavers.
names called by miss ___.
no one dared to answer her qn
or knew the ans to her qn.
she stopped teaching
and we ended up reading the book for 30 mins
and i only read 2 pages and fell asleep.
hohoho..

lunch with beaver and alpha!
we should have more goeg outing!
:D

training today.
green cant survive alone!
horrible weather.
haha..
3 sets of circuit
and one set of 2.2.4
i hate the feeling of lactic.
kills people.

leg cramp
my right calf has been aching the whole day
that i cant even cross my legs properly.
hoho.

CIP briefing at tanjong pajar.
learn how to paint doors,
talk to elderly,
persuade elderly, etc.

supper with OCIP people.
thai express.
miss green
yuwen
yingjing
leqi
jiayi
cheryl
tony
pamela

TGIF!
maybe i should go church sooooooon.

sigh.

sensible + logical = SENSICAL

ayyyeee..
finally im updating again.
came back at 1050pm today.
its the latest time i've ever come back
during a school day.
all thanks to the National Weather Study Project
UUURRGHHH!
ended lessons at 1730.
headed to national library to do some research.
looked like an idiot searching for books and statistics!
im a library idiot.

who would know how to use the lib when
she only read 5 books in her entire life.
how pathetic.

subway for dinner.
cant stand PS's subway.
slow and rude service.

chatted with kenny and bimbee at borders.
just realised that im not the only one feeling this way.
hate school.

lessons were boing as usual.
esp lit.
the two hours were like two days to me.
each time i look at my watch,
i realised it's only 5 mins ago!!
time really passes very slow during lit.
yawn.

running on water

i cant bring myself to do miss k's homework
its brain juicing
i rather do fartleks
and torturous runs
ANYTHING!
except LIT!

I HATE LIT
I HATE LIT
I HATE LIT
I HATE LIT
I HATE LIT
I HATE LIT
I HATE LIT
I HATE LIT
I HATE LIT

miss k:

Firstly my apologies for my absence the last week
(during which time I did not have access
to the Internet and therefore no access to Moodle)

Now however I have access,
and so until I get to come back in person to torment you,
I will be uploading work for you
here to be done during the week.

In case you were wondering...
I HAVE NOT forgotten the test.
The file is in College so I cannot upload it
till I get my hands on it.
You will get the test SOON.

In the meanwhile as a follow-up
to the instructions last week here
are some questions for you to consider
on chapter 2 of Brave New World.

crap.
i haven even do chapter one.

uurrrghhh.
why is she back so fast
sigh
i hope she doesnt read this.

I HATE LIT!

sheltering walls of PL

hoho.
finally went back to PL..
saw the principal there.
had a little chat with her.
i wanna go back there to teach PE!
HAHAH
its only a small road across my house.

good place to study.
hoho

im out of it

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZONG HUSBAND!:)
im sure this year's birthday is a special one to you right?
spending it with your love one.
wanted to give you a surprise.
but on second thot,
we decided not to be light bulbs.
one yr wiser alr ah,
dont keep arguing with your mama and papa ok?
be a good girl.
:)
anyway, thanks for the party.
good food man!
hohoho!
i love the ice cream cake pls!
ahhh, i miss you to bits!
do remember,
im always here for you like
how you are always here for me.
:D

today.
three hours break.
did maths holiday homework.
many many qn marks.
oh no.

mr leong stomped out of the classroom
during geog tut today.
many didnt do homework.
oh well,
my grp was guai ok.
just didnt write in essay form only.

wnet heartland to photocopy music books.
taking exam this year.
my gosh.
freaky.
it been 5 years since i've entered into an examination room
where examiners will stare at you from the back.
telling you that you have only 2 mins to sight read and compose a song
but the fact is that they give you 30 secs only.
hoho.
im bad at that.
bad bad.

whao.
im gg to be really stress out in the june holidays.
music exams
nationals.
BT2

sigh

back to school for physics lesson.
dont understand!

phil mama!
thanks for that little message!
glad to see you in school again!
miss your accompany.
:(

and beaver!
thanks for the watch!
its really thoughtful of you!
:)
i really have very bad time management.


ban mian with trackers.
my main objective was to catch my channel 8 show.
hohoho.

surf and sweat with marcus this yr.
4 feb.
man.
5km at tanjong beach.
while he only surf like 300m?!
i think i'll just take the goodie bag!
HOHOHO!

i felt a funeral in my brain

burdened.

i hate school
and i really do.

homework's piling up
question marks are piling up too.
just cant stand the feeling of not
knowing how to do a question
and you
skip
skip
and skip.
and the next time you know,
OH SHEESH!ITS THE END OF A TUTORIAL ALR
and your foolscape paper is blank.
O_o

it happens to me all the time..

i've come to a realisation that there's
no more time.
yet at the same time,
you wanna play.
how?

celine,
im really sorry.
i just have the "im sick of everything" mood.
maybe its the start of school..
thats why.
besides,
GP lessons' not with you.
you go for econs and i dont
i got for geog and you dont.
we both go for different H1 subjects.
ayyyeee..
sigh..

i dont know why
but i just feel so burdened
the idea of A'lvl suffocates me.
im trying to live up to my family's expectations.
its bad being the youngest at times.

aye.
STRESS.
and its only the second week of school.
oh man
this is crazy.

sleepless nights.
endless homework.

booo..

isolation period.
study session.
i hope i dont end up sleeping away..
books are boring
so are brave new world and 1984.

miss k is in hospital.
no test tomorrow!:)
oh well,
but i still hope she'll recover soon.
if not.
my lit is really a gone case.
im still surviving on summaries!
hahahah..

ok.
lets be positive.
SMILE!
tomorrow will be a better day.
:D

save me.

robot

i feel like im starting to get very routine.
if i dont write out what i wanna do,
im completely lost.
but at the same time,
im too ambitious.
trying to do too many things in one night
when i know that i need two hours for one maths qn.

O_o

rusty rusty.

maths tuition with mindy tmr.
cant rmb a single thing md vidya taught.
oh no.

well well well.
had 3 hours of break today,
but ended up talking in the lib.
tried to do maths.
ok.
one question only.
how pathetic.

think i need to isolate myself.
but i hate being a loner.
urgh.

and what the heck is superposition!!
i dont understand a single thing.

care taker of the day: mindy!
she brought me to school and sent me back.
how sweet.
thanks friend.
my mama is gg to love you!

went to the doctor alone.
didnt wanna disturb mum and dad.
its so irritaing when you see your bus fly pass you
and you cant run..

oh well.
two needles today.
its freaking pain
and the woman is damn harsh with my ankle.
but she said after two days should be ok alr!
yeah!
mum offered to fectch me home!
:D

handicapped

woke up this morning and
to my horror, i cant walk.
mama didnt let me go school.
anyway, mindy, thanks for the offer
it was really sweet of you
and sorry sorry sorry for troubling you again and again.

went back to bed
woke up at 8plus.
and starting doing my lit essay
which i just found out from sean yesterday
WHY MUST YOU TELL ME?
no wonder there's a saying:
ignorance is bliss.
and in 1984:
ignornace is strength!
haha
how lame
but yeah!
im literally lame for now.

today was a litty-farty day.
lit essay
lit annotation
hoho
quite an achievement la.
:)
no wonder im so emo.

tonight i shall do maths.
oh no.
my brain's rusty man.
one math qn, 2 hr?
how sad?
i think i've returned everything to mdm kwan alr!
SIGH

went to Doctor Aw today.
oh man.
he's the best family doctor i've ever had.
he is only doctor that you can bargain with
and sympathise with you.
haha..
thank goodness he was a runner.
so he knows how i feel.

pls la,
three months is ridiculous.
i was so worried that he will give me one month mc.
after hearing the verdict of two weeks,
i was so relief!
but if it gets well faster,
i can start running alr!
:D
pphhheeww..

bad day

angry.

stop rubbing salt into my wound alright.
i know you all want the best for me.
and i also know what im doing..

its my last year.
so just spare me..
and let me do what i want.
no one is forcing me,
i am doing it of my own accord.

dinner was hell for me.
i've never seen myself stuffing so much food into my mouth.
three mouths nagging all at one go
until a point when i cant take it.

im upset enough so just shhhhh
for the time being ok?

sprained ankle AGAIN
for the third time.
urrrgghhh.
am i really so unlucky?
was thinking about it a few days ago.
jinx.

next topic.
i hate school now
i dont know why
the stress feeling just came naturally.
and its only the first day of school!
whats wrong with me?

went to the library with sean.
he thought there wasnt any econs tut.
but ends up skipping that lesson.
naughty ah.
was betting that no one will be there.
how wrong can i be?
many many scholars were there mugging their ass off.
to put it nicely,
they were rushing through their homework la..
haha

talking about lit can really make one cry.
you want to do well,
but there is just one phobia.
Miss ____.

sigh.

anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EMILY SISSY!:)
you're 22 already!
one year wiser again.
anyway,hope the cheesecake we did
turn out well and hope you like that top
im sure you love it la huh.
hahah
:)

this morning she was really funny.
she woke up in the morning and
it just slipped off my mind that its her bdae.
i just smiled at her.
then finally she said:
"eh, wish me happy birthday leh"
hoho.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY SIS!
I LOVE YOU!

family day

29 dec

family day at Jurong Birdpark
dont know why
but the whole family was tired.
we woke up as early as 0625


mama wanna eat breakfast instead of watching birds fly
papa seems lost all the time
my legs were aching badly
emily sissy and yunhao can be two lovely birds.
shanice sis?too engross with the eagles!

oh,
i love eagles, owl and penguins!

but i still love the quality time spent together still
tho everybody was tired
:)

headed to bukit timah-beauty world to have our lunch
i love the zi-cha there!
yummy..